In the past, I wrote about compassion and loving kindness practices to support coming home. In case you didn’t know, these practices are part of a larger collection of buddhist virtues, called Brahmavihara. In pali, brahma means god or divine; vihara means abode. The brahmavihara are known as the “four immeasurables” in Sanskrit or “infinite minds” in Chinese. These virtues can be found in early buddhist texts and non-buddhist literature, like the Yoga Sutras of Patañjali. Brahmavihara includes the following four virtues:
Metta - a form of loving kindness or good will towards others and oneself.
Karuna - a form of compassion; the desire to relieve the suffering of others and oneself too.
Mudita - empathetic joy that is based on being happy due to other’s joy, even if one is not part of its creation.
Upekkha - equanimity that is based on insight. Basically, it offers discernment associated with “non-attachment, balanced, and calm mind. “ Ultimately, it allows where to offer appropriate amount of attention from a place of serenity.
My Personal Experience with Upekkha (Equanimity)
Before attending an online metta retreat with Jeff Haozous at Spirit Rock, my loving kindness practices would meet a lot of resistance in my body, mind, and heart. After Jeff explained that equanimity is also about the practice of mindful discernment, I realized that I was not using the messages of resistance I was receiving from my body, mind, and heart as a way to adjust my practice. For example, I would often feel tension in my chest when I tried practicing compassion towards someone else, even for a benefactor or a friend.
When, I started to practice self-compassion more often, the tension in my body would eventually released. Supposedly, self-compassion is harder for a lot of folks raised in certain cultures so I didn’t “think” self-compassion was a place to start for me. Learning to discern where to place my attention based on serenity and mindfulness lead to a more nurturing experience. May you use your insight to help guide you to do less harm to yourself and - ultimately - to others.
Starting A Brahmavihara Practice
To start practicing, you may want to begin with a form of loving kindness practice towards a benefactor, dear friend, pet, or yourself. May you find what works best for you through equanimity. Below are some common phrases of loving kindness that you may use that I sourced from Jack Kornfield’s book, A Path With Heart.
Loving Kindness Meditation
May I be filled with loving-kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
Meditación de Bondad Amorosa
Que me llene de bondad amorosa.
Que esté bien.
Que esté tranquilo y a gusto.
Que yo sea feliz.
I also wanted to share the following equanimity meditation I practiced from an online retreat I attended and hosted by Spirit Rock, as taught by Konda Mason:
Equanimity Meditation
May I embrace life with stillness and calm.
May my heart be a home of balance and spaciousness.
Meditación de Ecuanimidad
Que pueda abrazar la vida con quietud y calma.
Que mi corazón sea un hogar de equilibrio y amplitud.
After practicing some form of loving kindness, compassion, empathetic joy or equanimity meditation, you may start to notice some changes in your relationship with your body, mind, and heart responses. You can practice any of these brahmavihara practices with your hand on your heart too. Practicing some form of metta practice for 20 minutes a day and for the past couple of months has has definitely shifted my relationships.
With consistent practice, my Brahmavihara practices have deepened and expanded my divine sense of home; may practicing these virtues do that for you too.
Lastly, I want to leave you with a poem, by Rupi Kaur, on Coming Home.
About The Author
Hi! My name is Angeles Rios. I am a healer and embodied movement trainer who works with both emotions and the body to help active people move better, be healthier, and stronger.
If you want more personalized help, I currently offer 1:1 sessions, community classes, and workshops. You can book a 20-minute consultation if you would like to learn more.
As a small business owner, I depend on referrals. If you think you know of someone who might benefit from my work, please forward them this link to contact me. I appreciate your support!
References
Kornfield, J. A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life. A Bantam Book. New York.1993.